A 3 year old in a beautiful party dress sitting alone at a big empty table eating a small piece of birthday cake. A single tear drips onto the frosting.
This was my Friday Night.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thanksgiving? Thanks for what?
The long story is we woke up early and went to see my sister who came to visit and M couldn't wait to see her. Went upstairs and had breakfast my sister made. I was beginning to think this wouldn't turn out so bad. My mom suddenly took M outside without asking me and with no winter coat on only a sleeveless dress and house slippers. It was 49 degrees outside today.
After breakfast, mom rushed my sister and M2 off to the hospital to see grandma ignoring M's cries to go with them. She was very upset and inconsolable for awhile as my sister is one of her favorite people here. My parents kept commenting on how much M eats and how noisy she is all during breakfast.
It sickens and saddens me how much my child wants attention from the people around her and they simply keep talking and don't acknowledge her like she isn't there. She kept saying "Come on everybody say "yo"!" and "Everybody clap your hands" but no one but me did. The look in her eyes breaks my heart. She wants so much to interact with people and have fun, she is such a people person, but they want her to be quiet and speak on request. My mom uses her like a show and tell object. In her play groups in New Zealand she was always popular and had so many friends. oh turn on the water works again. Can the damn drama llama stop coming to my house?
Later I put M down for a nap and started goofing around on the internet because I didn't have anywhere to go and we have to be quiet. I was surfing and ended up reading something about Japanese atrocities in WW2 and that it was never taught as history in school. I asked T about it and for some reason he flipped out at me. He went on this huge diatribe about how history is wrong and it ended up being about my mom. I kept asking him to stop, but he didn't. I don't know how long it would have lasted but our good friend S called and cheered us up quite a bit.
After that, my sister offered to take me and M for a little drive around town since M was down she didn't get to go anywhere. We stopped by the drug store and my sister bought me some needed personal hygiene supplies (ie conditioner etc...) Came back home and had Thanksgiving dinner. My mom announced that it was nice to have my sister and M2 there which made Thanksgiving very special. She said it wasn't the same as having us there as we were forced to be there so we didn't count.
Dinner was ok, some good stuff some bad. They are trying to get M to call my brother's gf "Aunt" again which really really angers me. M ate a ton once again causing my father to complain about how much she eats. I know I need to get our diet sorted out somehow but we have no choice presently as I can't even get her to the store to get her some food. All we eat is boxed, processed foods and delivery. Of course we are unhealthy, unhappy and generally ill kempt from lack of supplies. I am a make up freak and I had to give that up. Now I just look like a freak.
Later M was trying to get my parents to watch a video tape with her (you guessed it, they use VHS tapes still) and M got her finger hurt in the VCR. The minute I leave her alone with my mom she always gets hurt. I was alone in the kitchen for a second gathering up some of M's toys she brought upstairs with her when my mom came in and said "Your daughter is VERY badly behaved" and walked out. So I forced M to go downstairs. 20 minutes later my mom asked her to come back up to watch "Ratatouille" a movie that M doesn't really like. Of course she didn't sit still and she was noisy because she was bored. She is a 3 year old. They told her she should go to bed. Commenting on how much she eats again was my cue to exit once more.
Tomorrow should be really great when my brother and his gf come for dinner. Shoot me now!
After breakfast, mom rushed my sister and M2 off to the hospital to see grandma ignoring M's cries to go with them. She was very upset and inconsolable for awhile as my sister is one of her favorite people here. My parents kept commenting on how much M eats and how noisy she is all during breakfast.
It sickens and saddens me how much my child wants attention from the people around her and they simply keep talking and don't acknowledge her like she isn't there. She kept saying "Come on everybody say "yo"!" and "Everybody clap your hands" but no one but me did. The look in her eyes breaks my heart. She wants so much to interact with people and have fun, she is such a people person, but they want her to be quiet and speak on request. My mom uses her like a show and tell object. In her play groups in New Zealand she was always popular and had so many friends. oh turn on the water works again. Can the damn drama llama stop coming to my house?
Later I put M down for a nap and started goofing around on the internet because I didn't have anywhere to go and we have to be quiet. I was surfing and ended up reading something about Japanese atrocities in WW2 and that it was never taught as history in school. I asked T about it and for some reason he flipped out at me. He went on this huge diatribe about how history is wrong and it ended up being about my mom. I kept asking him to stop, but he didn't. I don't know how long it would have lasted but our good friend S called and cheered us up quite a bit.
After that, my sister offered to take me and M for a little drive around town since M was down she didn't get to go anywhere. We stopped by the drug store and my sister bought me some needed personal hygiene supplies (ie conditioner etc...) Came back home and had Thanksgiving dinner. My mom announced that it was nice to have my sister and M2 there which made Thanksgiving very special. She said it wasn't the same as having us there as we were forced to be there so we didn't count.
Dinner was ok, some good stuff some bad. They are trying to get M to call my brother's gf "Aunt" again which really really angers me. M ate a ton once again causing my father to complain about how much she eats. I know I need to get our diet sorted out somehow but we have no choice presently as I can't even get her to the store to get her some food. All we eat is boxed, processed foods and delivery. Of course we are unhealthy, unhappy and generally ill kempt from lack of supplies. I am a make up freak and I had to give that up. Now I just look like a freak.
Later M was trying to get my parents to watch a video tape with her (you guessed it, they use VHS tapes still) and M got her finger hurt in the VCR. The minute I leave her alone with my mom she always gets hurt. I was alone in the kitchen for a second gathering up some of M's toys she brought upstairs with her when my mom came in and said "Your daughter is VERY badly behaved" and walked out. So I forced M to go downstairs. 20 minutes later my mom asked her to come back up to watch "Ratatouille" a movie that M doesn't really like. Of course she didn't sit still and she was noisy because she was bored. She is a 3 year old. They told her she should go to bed. Commenting on how much she eats again was my cue to exit once more.
Tomorrow should be really great when my brother and his gf come for dinner. Shoot me now!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? NOT ME
I live in a basement under some crazy people. It's only noon time but I have already had a full day of madness. I have one "Mother" of a headache. Mom woke us up early to complain about various issues. She doesn't like that our clothes are folded on top of the dresser so she brought a storage bin to put them in. Our clothes are folded on top of the dresser because all the furniture that is down here is already filled with their stuff. She won't take me some where to get hangers so we don't have any hangers. She says people give away free hangers all the time so you don't need to buy them. I am unsure of where the free hanger people live but I am sure she wouldn't drive me there anyway.
We have also been requested to hang up all their Christmas lights while she is visiting Grandma in the hospital today. Then she said she was going to the farm stand down to the street to pick up some pies she ordered and we could come if we wanted to, so I assumed that meant I could pick up a little food there. Its expensive and full of gourmet items I can't afford, a loaf of bread in their bakery is $3.50. I got M dressed up in her winter finery and took her upstairs to put her in the car. My mom asked me to hold on a minute she had to find something or other so M went and climbed into her car seat. My mom came storming out of the house and started yelling "Don't cram her into the car right away, let her play outside for awhile, she needs fresh air" blah blah blah. If fresh air makes you grow up like my mom, I am out of there. I blew my cool and yelled "What the F?" and I did say "F" as in the letter "F" not the bad word cause my kid was around "She wanted to get in the car, we thought you would be right back" This trip is off to a good start.
On the drive over she revealed to me that a job had called for me but she never bothered to tell me. I don't even know what to say about this. I am not even going to talk about it because it makes me too angry. We got to the farm stand and immediately mom told M she could go see the farm animals. We ran around and looked at bunnies, goats, sheep and a donkey that M proudly identified as a "Moose"
Went back in the store section and started to pick up a few items. I picked up a pumpkin muffin as that is the treat M and I share every time we go to the farm stand and my mom came over and said "You don't need that, put it down. I got M a donut" I looked at her trying to fry her with my laser eye beams "this is for us to share" she started to walk away "put it back and get in the car" she replied over her shoulder. I grabbed a loaf of bread, the offensive muffin and went to check out. She gave me the look of doom. She remarked she didn't have enough pies and I said "are you expecting alot of people?" "around 9" she responded. After berating me for not knowing who the 9 people would be (I apparently should know who she invites to Thanksgiving) Told me her plan to have a Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday with my sister and her significant other and "I am going to cook the Turkey in the oven downstairs!" This being the oven in our kitchen. yay. Then on Friday they will have a second Thanksgiving for my brother and his girlfriend, that will include M's birthday party. She mentioned they were in the process of buying my brother a brand new snow blower for his house. That's nice. She told me anyone who comes to visit us - made sure to make a point of this one - and the pizza delivery man should go to the back of the house, not to the front. They need to go back where there is no outside light and it's hard to get the door open. Great, new rule day. I think I might go lie down, I am feeling kind of tired. Talk to you later.
I woke up after a freakish long nap. Mom and T got in fight while I was asleep and it's only gone downhill from there. She came downstairs and started yelling about us putting all this extra crummy furniture and dirty toys she gave M in the utility room and T is freaking out at me. Yelling at M, Yelling at me. He put everything back in the utility room that she took out so now she will yell at me when she finds out. She brought down food for M but not for us. He keeps telling me all the things I am supposed to be saying to her but he doesn't say anything.
*Update* Battleground Mom took a casualty tonight. When we came here there was a old long low coffee table here and M bounced off of it a few times so we asked if we could move it out somewhere. We were told that this is not our house so we can't move anything but finally we stored it in the utility room. Mom found out we put it back there tonight and she forced us to put it back. Not even an hour having it back, M was jumping, fell and slammed her face into the coffee table. She has a cut on her brow and a black eye forming. My sister and M2 were here and they saw the whole incident and agreed that table was dangerous. T moved the table back into the utility room and he is going to have to fight her when she finds out. Us 0 Mom 1
We have also been requested to hang up all their Christmas lights while she is visiting Grandma in the hospital today. Then she said she was going to the farm stand down to the street to pick up some pies she ordered and we could come if we wanted to, so I assumed that meant I could pick up a little food there. Its expensive and full of gourmet items I can't afford, a loaf of bread in their bakery is $3.50. I got M dressed up in her winter finery and took her upstairs to put her in the car. My mom asked me to hold on a minute she had to find something or other so M went and climbed into her car seat. My mom came storming out of the house and started yelling "Don't cram her into the car right away, let her play outside for awhile, she needs fresh air" blah blah blah. If fresh air makes you grow up like my mom, I am out of there. I blew my cool and yelled "What the F?" and I did say "F" as in the letter "F" not the bad word cause my kid was around "She wanted to get in the car, we thought you would be right back" This trip is off to a good start.
On the drive over she revealed to me that a job had called for me but she never bothered to tell me. I don't even know what to say about this. I am not even going to talk about it because it makes me too angry. We got to the farm stand and immediately mom told M she could go see the farm animals. We ran around and looked at bunnies, goats, sheep and a donkey that M proudly identified as a "Moose"
Went back in the store section and started to pick up a few items. I picked up a pumpkin muffin as that is the treat M and I share every time we go to the farm stand and my mom came over and said "You don't need that, put it down. I got M a donut" I looked at her trying to fry her with my laser eye beams "this is for us to share" she started to walk away "put it back and get in the car" she replied over her shoulder. I grabbed a loaf of bread, the offensive muffin and went to check out. She gave me the look of doom. She remarked she didn't have enough pies and I said "are you expecting alot of people?" "around 9" she responded. After berating me for not knowing who the 9 people would be (I apparently should know who she invites to Thanksgiving) Told me her plan to have a Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday with my sister and her significant other and "I am going to cook the Turkey in the oven downstairs!" This being the oven in our kitchen. yay. Then on Friday they will have a second Thanksgiving for my brother and his girlfriend, that will include M's birthday party. She mentioned they were in the process of buying my brother a brand new snow blower for his house. That's nice. She told me anyone who comes to visit us - made sure to make a point of this one - and the pizza delivery man should go to the back of the house, not to the front. They need to go back where there is no outside light and it's hard to get the door open. Great, new rule day. I think I might go lie down, I am feeling kind of tired. Talk to you later.
I woke up after a freakish long nap. Mom and T got in fight while I was asleep and it's only gone downhill from there. She came downstairs and started yelling about us putting all this extra crummy furniture and dirty toys she gave M in the utility room and T is freaking out at me. Yelling at M, Yelling at me. He put everything back in the utility room that she took out so now she will yell at me when she finds out. She brought down food for M but not for us. He keeps telling me all the things I am supposed to be saying to her but he doesn't say anything.
*Update* Battleground Mom took a casualty tonight. When we came here there was a old long low coffee table here and M bounced off of it a few times so we asked if we could move it out somewhere. We were told that this is not our house so we can't move anything but finally we stored it in the utility room. Mom found out we put it back there tonight and she forced us to put it back. Not even an hour having it back, M was jumping, fell and slammed her face into the coffee table. She has a cut on her brow and a black eye forming. My sister and M2 were here and they saw the whole incident and agreed that table was dangerous. T moved the table back into the utility room and he is going to have to fight her when she finds out. Us 0 Mom 1
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Milk....the Final Battleground
Fat free milk vs whole milk, the daily struggle took on a new level today. We really only use milk for our coffee which is our one real vice and M mostly drinks soy milk but for us we like to have it for our morning wake up routine. We both completely hate skim milk in coffee because it's like milk colored water. I don't mind using soy milk or non dairy creamer but he has to have milk. My mom insists that since I am "so fat" I need to use skim milk only and constantly gets us skim milk no matter how many times we ask for whole milk.
We had asked her to take us by the post office if she could find time in her schedule so we could mail a letter off to Japan to get some paperwork we need if we can ever afford to do the immigration application so she grudgingly agreed to take us in the morning. There is a little sort of pizza place/convenience store in the post office so I thought I could pick up some milk while we are there. It's a cold and rainy day, not a good day to be outside. Mom told me I didn't need milk because she had some upstairs and we could just have that. I said no, I didn't want her old skim milk. She brought down the remains of a gallon of skim milk. Around 2 inches left in the bottom. I told her it was ok, I would buy some at the store at the post office.
She drove us over there and parked very far away so we had to walk through the rain along the busy road. We weren't prepared for that so we had no umbrellas or rain gear, we thought it was a quick trip to the post office. Yes, there was parking right in front of the building. I waded through the ankle deep puddle she parked the car in and we slogged our way to the post office. Mom immediately disappeared into the store section with M. I paid for the letter to go to Japan then I went over to the store section to get milk. As I picked up a gallon of milk and headed for the register all of a sudden mom started yelling at me in front of all the people in the store "I already gave you milk, you don't need that! put it back!" and I responded "No, I want to buy some milk that we want to get, and have more than the little bit you gave me" and M said "Mommy I am so hungry". M hadn't eaten yet because we don't have much for breakfast food so I hadn't given her anything yet. I asked her what she wanted to eat and Mom said "She has plenty to eat at home" grabbed M's kiddy umbrella out of T's hands and stormed off with M into the parking lot. T and I were appalled and embarassed. I had asked the clerk not to finish ringing up my sale because I had wanted to add something in for M to eat. The clerk didn't meet my eyes and simply said "$4.59 please". It was awful. We drove back to the house in silence and mom parked on the street and made us walk through the rain up their long driveway to the house.
We have lost so much money because of her, having to spend money on motels when we could have simply stayed in the spare room upstairs, not being able to go to a grocery store we can afford, having to pay her for groceries we don't want or need, having to order delivery food because she won't take us to the store etc..T always wants me to argue with her about everything but he doesn't realize I can't. If they throw us out we have no where to go. I have to bite my lip and bear it as much as I can for now. It's a catch 22 life.
I was fantasizing last night about living in Hawaii. T found out that the Hair dresser's license test is administered in Japanese as well. There is a perfect mix of culture for M to grow up in. There are lots of Japanese there and many signs in Japanese. There are Japanese stores and half Japanese children. Everyone is so nice to M and she is so happy there. I am not one for tropical heat but if my family is happy, then I am happy. Plus M is obsessed with Hula. When we were last in Hawaii, M met a famous Ukelele player who played especially for M and said she really has something special in her hula. It was amazing. Next to living in NZ again that would be a perfect place for us. If someday we can pull ourselves up out of this morass of unhappiness we call a life perhaps we can go there and live. Or I can sink into fantasy life and live in a mental hospital but really think I live on an island. Didn't that happen in "LOST"? with the fat guy there, Hurley? I have no idea what is going on in that show.
Until then, it's Battle Royale of the dairy variety.
We had asked her to take us by the post office if she could find time in her schedule so we could mail a letter off to Japan to get some paperwork we need if we can ever afford to do the immigration application so she grudgingly agreed to take us in the morning. There is a little sort of pizza place/convenience store in the post office so I thought I could pick up some milk while we are there. It's a cold and rainy day, not a good day to be outside. Mom told me I didn't need milk because she had some upstairs and we could just have that. I said no, I didn't want her old skim milk. She brought down the remains of a gallon of skim milk. Around 2 inches left in the bottom. I told her it was ok, I would buy some at the store at the post office.
She drove us over there and parked very far away so we had to walk through the rain along the busy road. We weren't prepared for that so we had no umbrellas or rain gear, we thought it was a quick trip to the post office. Yes, there was parking right in front of the building. I waded through the ankle deep puddle she parked the car in and we slogged our way to the post office. Mom immediately disappeared into the store section with M. I paid for the letter to go to Japan then I went over to the store section to get milk. As I picked up a gallon of milk and headed for the register all of a sudden mom started yelling at me in front of all the people in the store "I already gave you milk, you don't need that! put it back!" and I responded "No, I want to buy some milk that we want to get, and have more than the little bit you gave me" and M said "Mommy I am so hungry". M hadn't eaten yet because we don't have much for breakfast food so I hadn't given her anything yet. I asked her what she wanted to eat and Mom said "She has plenty to eat at home" grabbed M's kiddy umbrella out of T's hands and stormed off with M into the parking lot. T and I were appalled and embarassed. I had asked the clerk not to finish ringing up my sale because I had wanted to add something in for M to eat. The clerk didn't meet my eyes and simply said "$4.59 please". It was awful. We drove back to the house in silence and mom parked on the street and made us walk through the rain up their long driveway to the house.
We have lost so much money because of her, having to spend money on motels when we could have simply stayed in the spare room upstairs, not being able to go to a grocery store we can afford, having to pay her for groceries we don't want or need, having to order delivery food because she won't take us to the store etc..T always wants me to argue with her about everything but he doesn't realize I can't. If they throw us out we have no where to go. I have to bite my lip and bear it as much as I can for now. It's a catch 22 life.
I was fantasizing last night about living in Hawaii. T found out that the Hair dresser's license test is administered in Japanese as well. There is a perfect mix of culture for M to grow up in. There are lots of Japanese there and many signs in Japanese. There are Japanese stores and half Japanese children. Everyone is so nice to M and she is so happy there. I am not one for tropical heat but if my family is happy, then I am happy. Plus M is obsessed with Hula. When we were last in Hawaii, M met a famous Ukelele player who played especially for M and said she really has something special in her hula. It was amazing. Next to living in NZ again that would be a perfect place for us. If someday we can pull ourselves up out of this morass of unhappiness we call a life perhaps we can go there and live. Or I can sink into fantasy life and live in a mental hospital but really think I live on an island. Didn't that happen in "LOST"? with the fat guy there, Hurley? I have no idea what is going on in that show.
Until then, it's Battle Royale of the dairy variety.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Sing Along For Sarah
I understand so well your feelings. Homesickness comes and goes with me, the smallest thing can set it off. Remember, dear heart, that home is wherever your beautiful girl is. When you are feeling down, simply
dare to be stupid!
Dare To Be Stupid Lyrics
Artist:Weird Al Yankovic
Put down that chainsaw and listen to me
It's time for us to join in the fight
It's time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys
It's time to let the bedbugs bite
You better put all your eggs in one basket
You better count your chickens before they hatch
You better sell some wine before it's time
You better find yourself an itch to scratch
You better squeeze all the Charmin you can while Mr. Wipple's not around
Stick your head in the microwave and get yourself a tan
Talk with your mouth full
Bite the hand that feeds you
Bite off more than you can chew
What can you do
Dare to be stupid
Take some wooden nickles
Look for Mr. Goodbar
Get your mojo working now
I'll show you how
You can dare to be stupid
You can turn the other cheek
You can just give up the ship
You can eat a bunch of sushi then forget to leave a tip
Dare to be stupid
Come on and dare to be stupid
It's so easy to do
Dare to be stupid
We're all waiting for you
Let's go
It's time to make a mountain out of a molehill
So can I have a volunteer
There's no more time for crying over spilled milk
Now it's time for crying in your beer
Settle down, raise a family, join the PTA
Buy some sensible shoes and a Chevrolet
And party 'till you're broke and they drive you away
It's OK, you can dare to be stupid
It's like spitting on a fish
It's like barking up a tree
It's like I said you gotta buy one if you wanna get one free
Dare to be stupid (yes)
Why don't you dare to be stupid
It's so easy to do
Dare to be stupid
We're all waiting for you
Dare to be stupid
Burn your candle at both ends
Look a gift horse in the mouth
Mashed potatos can be your friends
You can be a coffee achiever
You can sit around the house and watch Leave It To Beaver
The future's up to you
So what you gonna do
dare to be stupid!
Dare To Be Stupid Lyrics
Artist:Weird Al Yankovic
Put down that chainsaw and listen to me
It's time for us to join in the fight
It's time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys
It's time to let the bedbugs bite
You better put all your eggs in one basket
You better count your chickens before they hatch
You better sell some wine before it's time
You better find yourself an itch to scratch
You better squeeze all the Charmin you can while Mr. Wipple's not around
Stick your head in the microwave and get yourself a tan
Talk with your mouth full
Bite the hand that feeds you
Bite off more than you can chew
What can you do
Dare to be stupid
Take some wooden nickles
Look for Mr. Goodbar
Get your mojo working now
I'll show you how
You can dare to be stupid
You can turn the other cheek
You can just give up the ship
You can eat a bunch of sushi then forget to leave a tip
Dare to be stupid
Come on and dare to be stupid
It's so easy to do
Dare to be stupid
We're all waiting for you
Let's go
It's time to make a mountain out of a molehill
So can I have a volunteer
There's no more time for crying over spilled milk
Now it's time for crying in your beer
Settle down, raise a family, join the PTA
Buy some sensible shoes and a Chevrolet
And party 'till you're broke and they drive you away
It's OK, you can dare to be stupid
It's like spitting on a fish
It's like barking up a tree
It's like I said you gotta buy one if you wanna get one free
Dare to be stupid (yes)
Why don't you dare to be stupid
It's so easy to do
Dare to be stupid
We're all waiting for you
Dare to be stupid
Burn your candle at both ends
Look a gift horse in the mouth
Mashed potatos can be your friends
You can be a coffee achiever
You can sit around the house and watch Leave It To Beaver
The future's up to you
So what you gonna do
Sleep is a 5 Letter Word
We almost had a good morning to sleep but M woke up early. She must be getting used to waking up early now which I am guessing is part of Mom's ultimate plan. Since we were pre awaken when mom did the "knock knock door" ha we were already up. She looked disappointed to find us awake and then said today I could do laundry if I wanted to. She said they were leaving to go to the hospital as usual.
We spent a quiet day, we were feeling tired and worn out after yesterday's birthday debacle. I know my birthday obsession stems from my youth when I always wanted to have a big party with all my friends but I never was able to have one. It was either a family party or I would be allowed to have one or two friends come only. My birthday one year I was told I could invite one friend. The following year, my sister got to have a Kermit the Frog theme birthday with party hats, plates, a big cake and lots and lots of friends. I don't want M to ever feel neglected and sad like that and last year she had a birthday that is still talked about in New Zealand. This year, she had the kind of birthday my mom is best at. She told M that her "real" birthday party would be on Thursday when my sister and brother would be here for Thanksgiving. She has also replaced M's picture on the refrigerator with a huge photo of my brother and his girlfriend.
Mom came back and started banging on the door during M's nap. Woke her up. She said she needed to talk to me so I had to go upstairs and listen to the list of things I had done wrong during the day. I didn't fold all my laundry and I dried a zip up sweater with the zipper unzipped. This would lead to the dryer being scratched up and ruined. She wanted to know why M was still sleeping, why did I ask stupid questions about grandma in the hospital? and the trash goes out tonight. Did we go outside today? What have we been doing? Makes my head hurt. I made the instant mac n cheese for dinner tonight with a side order of Cheez-its.
We spent a quiet day, we were feeling tired and worn out after yesterday's birthday debacle. I know my birthday obsession stems from my youth when I always wanted to have a big party with all my friends but I never was able to have one. It was either a family party or I would be allowed to have one or two friends come only. My birthday one year I was told I could invite one friend. The following year, my sister got to have a Kermit the Frog theme birthday with party hats, plates, a big cake and lots and lots of friends. I don't want M to ever feel neglected and sad like that and last year she had a birthday that is still talked about in New Zealand. This year, she had the kind of birthday my mom is best at. She told M that her "real" birthday party would be on Thursday when my sister and brother would be here for Thanksgiving. She has also replaced M's picture on the refrigerator with a huge photo of my brother and his girlfriend.
Mom came back and started banging on the door during M's nap. Woke her up. She said she needed to talk to me so I had to go upstairs and listen to the list of things I had done wrong during the day. I didn't fold all my laundry and I dried a zip up sweater with the zipper unzipped. This would lead to the dryer being scratched up and ruined. She wanted to know why M was still sleeping, why did I ask stupid questions about grandma in the hospital? and the trash goes out tonight. Did we go outside today? What have we been doing? Makes my head hurt. I made the instant mac n cheese for dinner tonight with a side order of Cheez-its.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Birthday
It's early check in on M's birthday day. We were awoken out of a deep sleep by mom barging downstairs carrying M's presents. She handed us a cake and said she was leaving to go spend the day at the hospital with grandma. so she isn't going to spend time with her grand daughter on her birthday. Ok fine. While she was down here I was trying to put all the presents out of reach and of course, M was freaking out about wanting to open the gifts NOW. M started crying suddenly saying that "grandma hurt me" I don't know what happened but M was upset and mom left. She left a cake that is one of those fancy adult cakes. Better than nothing but not what I had in mind.
Yesterday I asked her to take me to the store so I could get M a cake. I saved a little bit of money to get her a fun character cake and I couldn't wait to go pick one out. I had skimped out on actual presents to get a cake. I got her three presents and the cake was going to be the fourth one. I asked mom to take me to the store so I could get M something special for dinner for her birthday and a cake. She said no, and then said she would get whatever I needed. I told her a cake and something nice for dinner.
She came back that evening with a box of instant macaroni and cheese, cheez-its, applesauce, microwave popcorn, and bottled water. What do I do with that? These are not anything I would have chosen. I know I am lucky to get anything, but how hard is it to take a few minutes to take us to the store? Why can't she take us to the store ever? We haven't gone to the store in a month.
Anyway, M is done watching her show so now off to find something I can use as a birthday candle. Nope, she didn't get candles either..
1:14 pm T is vacuuming, M is in her party dress. We are waiting for my friend, L to arrive. She is going to stop by Target and pick us up some birthday candles. She called earlier and apparently when my dad answered the phone he didn't really want to let her talk to me before he came and told us there was a phone call. He never hung up the other phone either so I could hear the tv upstairs through my whole conversation. After we talked briefly, I had to go upstairs to hang up the phone. It's like you can't take 5 seconds from your busy day of sitting on your rear to hang up the phone? I am again at the boiling point today. They can be so freakin' selfish. My dad didn't even say "Happy Birthday" to M. T is using the broken vacuum cleaner they gave us. The roller bar is being turned by a rubber band. Just a regular old rubber band. There are two brand new vacuum cleaners upstairs but they won't let us use one because they don't want me to "break it" I get angry at them and then I take it out on my family, it's really not fair. At times I feel it's all T's fault that I am in the mess in the first place. I know it's not something he could have helped but he should try harder to fix this. or something. yes, Happy Birthday!
I lost my train of thought on this so all I can add is that my father NEVER did say "Happy Birthday" to M. My mother spelled M's name wrong on the top of the cake. Also, it was only a one layer cake. I believe you have ask special for a birthday cake like that to be only one layer? She also brought us some fat free frozen yogurt. I asked her why she spelled the name on the cake wrong, she said it must have been the bakery. Then I said it was also written on the birthday card from her. She made her mouth into a tight line and went back upstairs.
Yesterday I asked her to take me to the store so I could get M a cake. I saved a little bit of money to get her a fun character cake and I couldn't wait to go pick one out. I had skimped out on actual presents to get a cake. I got her three presents and the cake was going to be the fourth one. I asked mom to take me to the store so I could get M something special for dinner for her birthday and a cake. She said no, and then said she would get whatever I needed. I told her a cake and something nice for dinner.
She came back that evening with a box of instant macaroni and cheese, cheez-its, applesauce, microwave popcorn, and bottled water. What do I do with that? These are not anything I would have chosen. I know I am lucky to get anything, but how hard is it to take a few minutes to take us to the store? Why can't she take us to the store ever? We haven't gone to the store in a month.
Anyway, M is done watching her show so now off to find something I can use as a birthday candle. Nope, she didn't get candles either..
1:14 pm T is vacuuming, M is in her party dress. We are waiting for my friend, L to arrive. She is going to stop by Target and pick us up some birthday candles. She called earlier and apparently when my dad answered the phone he didn't really want to let her talk to me before he came and told us there was a phone call. He never hung up the other phone either so I could hear the tv upstairs through my whole conversation. After we talked briefly, I had to go upstairs to hang up the phone. It's like you can't take 5 seconds from your busy day of sitting on your rear to hang up the phone? I am again at the boiling point today. They can be so freakin' selfish. My dad didn't even say "Happy Birthday" to M. T is using the broken vacuum cleaner they gave us. The roller bar is being turned by a rubber band. Just a regular old rubber band. There are two brand new vacuum cleaners upstairs but they won't let us use one because they don't want me to "break it" I get angry at them and then I take it out on my family, it's really not fair. At times I feel it's all T's fault that I am in the mess in the first place. I know it's not something he could have helped but he should try harder to fix this. or something. yes, Happy Birthday!
I lost my train of thought on this so all I can add is that my father NEVER did say "Happy Birthday" to M. My mother spelled M's name wrong on the top of the cake. Also, it was only a one layer cake. I believe you have ask special for a birthday cake like that to be only one layer? She also brought us some fat free frozen yogurt. I asked her why she spelled the name on the cake wrong, she said it must have been the bakery. Then I said it was also written on the birthday card from her. She made her mouth into a tight line and went back upstairs.
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