Happy New Year

We had an amazing New Year, all compliments of some friends of ours who sent us a dream getaway for a couple days. Not only did this trip revive our flagging spirits it also made me realize that the basement IS the reason why I feel so bad and groggy. The time we were gone I woke up at a normal time, I had energy and I felt fine. One day back and already I can't wake up and I feel terrible. When we arrived at grandma's house (I never refer to it as "home") yesterday we found that my mom had been down here quite a bit and that the whole place now reeks of sewage. She said she didn't know why it smelled so bad. The mouse problem is worse, they are even in our suitcases stored in the utility room. Once here, my parents didn't even acknowledge that we were back. They didn't speak to us at all until today and actually my father has yet to speak to me. My mom, however, was back on her complainey trip. She called us on our last day at the hotel and told us we needed to tell her what time we were coming back so she could leave the basement door open. No, we do not have a key to this house. We are at the mercy of the people upstairs. If they want to lock us out, they can at will. She left the basement door open which is kind considering that made me have to slog through the snow from the shoveled front yard to the unshoveled back yard. They have a snow blower but we aren't allowed to touch it.

We noted on our trip that the house my parents own that we begged them to live in is now bearing a "For Rent By Owner" sign. Nice of them to offer it to us after I spent so much time trying to convince them to let us live there. They had lied and told me that the tenant hadn't left yet. Oh, looks like he left.

My mom yelled at me today that I spend all my time on my computer instead of watching my child. She says the computer is more important than my own daughter. I could say that everything is more important to my mom than her own daughter. She left us mouse poison to kill the mouse. I am torn on this.

Being away from here was a dream, I needed that to help keep my sanity intact. It was such a treat to see M laughing and having fun. She has such a love for people and sunshine, it kills me to have her stuck in this smelly, unhealthy basement. We had such a beautiful time together that at one point on the trip, T actually said that maybe if we got financially sound again he would want another child. Utterly impossible but it was nice to hear him say that. We have been at odds so much lately I was afraid the romance was gone.

For resolutions this year I am really going to try to lose weight and get in some kind of shape other than "round"

I am going to spend more time teaching and playing with M rather than yelling at her

Love T as much as possible and not blame everything on him.

Get us out of this pit of hell.

Keep my spirits up. We can do it. or as Obama says "Yes We Can"

2009 started off the right way. 2009 is our year!

*edit* I forgot to mention we are starting off the New Year with no oven as it broke and the rents don't want to fix it. Microwave popcorn for everybody!